Asking Jesus about a Dying Son
As I prayed for my son not to die, hope and fear beat upon my body. It was sort of like the time I was in our International Scout, and we rolled it. Actually, my twin brother Rick rolled it; he was driving.
We were not wearing seat belts. So, we slammed against the side door, then flopped onto the ceiling, which is now the floor, and back to the other side, and back again to the seat. It all happened so fast that we just got through it. We didn’t know what was happening until it was over.
We found the snot from our sinuses on our shirts and the blood from our noses on the windows and seat. Every crumb that we had ever eaten and left hidden in some seat crack now covered our hair, face, and clothes. Every side of our bodies ached from the impact. We took beatings on our head and butt, our right and left. How many times did we flip? It all happened so fast.
But, that is not the way it is when you are being tossed and turned by the fear of your son dying. Those impacts are slow, deep, and sorrowful. You find yourself gasping for breath. You have time to feel sorrow and fear. You experience the pain. You hurt during the whole experience. And you have a light of hope waring against every evil condition. I have had the wind knocked out of me a few times. This was like having the wind knocked out of my soul.
At this time my son was not saved, involved in evil events and at this moment, incoherent from an overdose. I had no ability to help him. I was that dad standing there, wishing I could trade my life for his, hoping that I could find help, fearing that I was not spiritual enough, looking for Jesus.
I cried.
I didn’t want to ask God for help. I wanted to make God help me. I wanted enough spiritual authority to do whatever I needed myself. I wanted to have enough favor in the bank of God to purchase a miracle. I wanted most anything in my relationship with God other than that humble place of asking. But that is what I had, and that is what I did. I asked God just like the father with a dying son in John four. [1]
In moments like these, I have a lot of stuff going on. Often, I race through my mind for some teaching on prayer or healing that I can be strengthened by. I run through my history with God and try to anchor my soul in what He has done in the past. He will surely do it again today. I meditate on a Scripture that I see as my answer to the situation I face. And almost always I pray, “ Lord have mercy on me a sinner.”
As a kid, we had a thing in our church called “praying through.” Praying through is praying until you broke through to God. It was knocking, seeking, and asking until you found peace in the presence of the Lord. It was a great thing. But it was also time-consuming. Sometimes it took all night.
Sometimes people lived in the place of prayer for weeks. Praying through was such a valuable thing that most people in that church would give up all but the essentials of life just to keep on asking God.
This spiritual habit of seeking the presence of the Lord that brings peace is a habit I would learn and re-learn repeatedly in my life. While all the things I tried helped, only fellowship with God settled my soul. In the presence of the Lord, even if my son died, I felt peace. In the fellowship with God, I found rest even while evil, pain, and suffering surrounded me.
When I have pressed through all my attempts to remedy the situation and seek God until I find Him, then I find myself in His presence. In His presence, He cares for me. He cares for my burdens. He resists my fears. He leads. All this He usually does with a word.
That word may not be audible. It may come in the form of an image. It may come in the expression of an emotion. But it is a personal communication from God to you. It is a communication for this moment in your life. It is how God is breathing into you.
It may not be what you wanted to hear. It may not be all positive. It may not be easy. But your soul comes to life. Your emotions are anchored in grace and love, and your fears are pushed back by the truth. "It Is Well with My Soul" is a hymn penned by Horatio Spafford and comes from the place God met him through death, financial trouble, and deep sorrow.[2] That story is in the footnote and the song at the end of this section.
In the Gospel of John, we find this statement following the man asking Jesus for help with his dying son.
Jesus *said to him, "Go; your son lives." The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and started off. John 4:50 (emphasis added)
Some may tell you that Jesus always speaks life. But that is not true. And even though my son was kept by God and is walking in fellowship with Him now, that is not always the case. Peace comes from the presence of God and the truth He speaks. It is not always positive. It is always assuring. It is always deeper than our comprehension can grasp. Followers of Jesus who have lost loved ones know about the loss and the presence of God. They know about sorrow and joy, pain, and rejoicing. They know that when they ask God to help, what He says in response settles the matter. It settles the soul.
And like me, many of them relearn this lesson. Our human condition defaults to an easy life.
Ask. Come to Father, Son and Spirit and ask them. In any and every situation press through whatever you need to, to find His presence. And in His presence ask.
I’ll end this section with Spafford’s song.
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so it is well with my soul!
[1] Therefore He came again to Cana of Galilee where He had made the water wine. And there was a royal official whose son was sick at Capernaum. When he heard that Jesus had come out of Judea into Galilee, he went to Him and was imploring Him to come down and heal his son; for he was at the point of death. John 4:46-47
[2] This hymn was written after traumatic events in Spafford's life. The first was the death of his son at the age of 2 and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer and had invested significantly in property in the area of Chicago that was extensively damaged by the great fire). His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873, at which time he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre. In a late change of plan, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone …". Shortly afterward, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.
From https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=It_Is_Well_with_My_Soul&oldid=836661623
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