God and Your Life

God and Your Life

It may seem hard to see at times, but our lives are filled with God.  Even when we are running away from God or just "taking time off" God is still active in loving and drawing us nearer to him.  This ever drawing nature of God is the reason our lives are full of His activity.  If we all did a better job of record keeping (journaling) we would know better that God is leading us, He is moving us toward Himself.  

From my years of reading the Church Fathers and Mystics I understand that those times when we tend to feel the most removed from God, we may actually be in a state of growth.  History is full of times of fast growth or easy growth.  We tend to call these "revival."  The "day in and day out" maturing into the image of Jesus Christ is not often celebrated or rewarded.  Enduring and persevering tend to have a more negative imagery in our minds than quickly advancing or having a progress that is easily visible to others. 

With so much focus of our day on the future, we may negate or forget the past, and with that loss of memory goes knowledge of God's personal faithfulness to us and the awareness of His reality in our lives.  We may not understand how remembering what God has done for us will help us advance more quickly than a pursuit of God that only has a forward gaze, but it does.  It really does.  You may often think you are stuck in the same old circumstances and situations when in reality you are growing in patience, kindness, forgiveness or a host of other very Godly things.  You simply may not be growing in an area that you value as much as those areas of maturity that God is valuing for you.  Our life only shows growth in Christ in those places where His effort is present, not just ours.  There would be a million more "holy men" in our world if we could do it on our own.

Like a life, a ministry and organization also grows, goes through seasons and changes.  The Peoria Prayer Center has been going through many changes, and it is reflected in the lives of those who share in that ministry and effort.  Over the past decade or two I believe I see what God has been doing and a gaze into the past helps me clarify the present and have faith for the future.  I am going to share what I see.  I hope that as you read this you too will have some illumination into your own walk with the Lord and be able to comprehend more and more of the ways of God in your life. 

Intimacy

The beginning of my life to pray was mostly not about prayer but about my relationship with God.  From day one I felt out of place with those who prayed to get answers to prayer.  I think these intercessors are doing their part in the body, and great blessing has flowed to the people of God from their faithfulness to their calling.  I prayed to know God better.  By that, I mean prayer was the main means of fellowship and interaction with God for me.  I have enjoyed thousands of answers to prayers, yet not one of them means as much to me as encountering the Lord.  That is also why I was drawn to the mystics who strongly believe that we can encounter God.  Spending time waiting on God was more about encounter and relationship than changing the atmosphere or culture.   

Prayer was the tool God gave to me for intimacy.  You can also be equipped with music, art, study, science, philosophy and numerous other ways to connect with God.  God is vast and is creative.  He has numerous ways possible for His creation to connect with Him.  Since intimacy, not prayer, was the foundation to my life, I could never say with integrity that everyone ought to be in the "prayer room."  Each person needed to be in the "room" that God had made them for.  All the parts of the body are not held together by prayer, or Bible study, or evangelism or signs and wonders.  All the parts of the body are held together in Him and as each one of us does our part (not the same part).

If we look back over our lives we will see that we are like a tree.  The root system and trunk have numerous branches reaching out into life.   On these branches are many smaller branches and leaves.  These leaves are both the fruit of the roots and the source of life for more growth.  So the tree, to grow, supports numerous elements that spend life.  Leaves and fruit tend to be more noticed than trunks and roots.  So too prayer, music, praise, Bible study can all be more apparent.  When that happens the good things compete with the best, and at times we become known more for the "outward things" than the inward abiding of Christ Jesus.  In my quest to keep Christ Jesus the center of all things, I have often changed activities or emphasis.  Going from one thing to another was at times simply a trend to be current or to appear on the advance.  Over the years it has become more about walking with God in and through differing aspect of His Kingdom. So adding community to intercession was our next felt step in abiding in the root(vine) that makes fruitfulness possible. 

Community

About two years ago I started to feel more and more emphasis in my spirit on community.  I have a few dozen books on groups and a few more dozen on discipleship, but all these lacked what I felt God was up to.  Since that time I have read more and

related more.  I am still looking for insight and wisdom in what community is supposed to be.  What I have found solid so far is not a projection for others. Community is not a list of what others ought to be doing.  Community is not about rules for being treated right.  It is not legislation or regulations. Community is the Lord working in the hearts of individuals to make community.  The Lord creates new hearts that fearlessly lay down who they are to be secure in Christ and in relationships.  We must be made into the people of God.  It does not just happen because it is supposed to or because we desire it to.  Pretending has become offensive to me and much of our present church life is more about being easy than about being real.  If we continue to pretend we are a loving community when in fact we are "striving to" or "working at it", we fail to be authentic.  I think we can become lukewarm by confessing with our mouth what is not resident in our heart.  If we use the language of love while our hearts are still battling judgments, envy, jealously, unforgiveness and anger, then we fail to speak the truth, and we fail to be whole.  There was a time in the church when it was normal to pray for someone because they were struggling in an area.  In many places today people are not prayed for because they do not want to appear weak, needy, broken.  Somehow being sick, in need of a job or in a broken relationship is now often seen as being out of God's will, failing as a believer or immature.  So we may have built a culture where we  just suppress our sin and hide our weakness. 

A large part of my understanding of community has come through the writing of a book about spiritual lessons learned while coaching 6-8 year old coach pitch baseball.   Add to this a real world encounter of people on the school buses of life, and I have more insight into life, community and people. I have had my heart broken more times than I ever want to recall.  I see so many hurts, wounds, sins that we promote and encourage.  Lust, ambition and greed are now normal in the pursuit of Christ likeness.  From a decade in the prayer room I have witnessed the manifestation of the Seven Deadly Sins and often the encouragement from the church to do so.  In no way do I want to discourage anyone from any of the numerous prayer movements in the world today.  There are many great things happening.  One of which is the realization that prayer without the reality of virtue is not real prayer.  To say that another way, if you are "growing in prayer" you are growing in loving others and not just in being loved by God.  From the Mystics, no real prayer growth is happening if virtue is not increasing.  Community is the garden for virtue. 

Discipleship

Community is also the context where we learn to authentically follow Jesus.  How many of us know how to attend church, sing passionately in the worship, give in the offering and leave with our hearts mainly untouched by God and others?  I can attend a church with others and not even know their names for years.  I can hear or read prayer requests and feel only shame over not caring or guilt for judging them in their circumstances.  God often gives grace to love and connect to people.  But, honestly for the most part, I only connect to the degree of real relationship.  A "greet one another relationship" or a "pray for one another relationship" seldom opens my heart beyond a self gaze. 

Discipleship is not the lessons we need to know to live right.  Discipleship is the living right, lessons of all sorts welcome.  Seeking to build on knowledge failed in the start, and it will fail now.  Walking with Jesus and others is the way of learning and following.  When others have the ability and freedom to speak the truth in love we are moving in the right direction.  When we have a heart that listens to God before we speak, we have taken another step.  When we as a group seek to hear and follow God together, refining and being truthful, we have taken yet another. 

How many of us have heard and taken notes on a thousand lessons we don't practice?  How many of us have put the simplest lesson into practice and found it a great reward? 

We must also be careful to be the disciple of the Lord, and not just an idea of doctrine.  God gives to the body people with differing passions, anointings and callings.  When we leave the body to partake of one aspect, we usually walk further from God and more toward a desire.  Our desires, both natural and spiritual, must be submitted to and controlled by the Spirit of God.  Walking with the Spirit is not just for the un-spiritual things.  All things need to subject to His leading and control.  Disconnecting with the body to become a disciple of healing or prophecy or some end time teaching is not discipleship.  The command to make disciples is all inclusive as the instruction was to teach them "all things."  In between our studies on how to understand end times or interpret dreams should be a study in how to budget, how to forgive family members who wound us and how to humble ourselves in the face of opportunity. 

Right Now

Right now I find myself at the meeting places of intimacy, community and discipleship.  I don't think it is the end of the road.  There is much more yet to come.  With my role in the Peoria Prayer Center I also find the way I live infiltrating the ministry I have.  The PPC has been moving away from prayer (not intimacy) for some time now.  I have even counseled some to stop praying for a while because they were filled with talk and passion about prayer and seldom mentioning Jesus, the Father or the Holy Spirit.  While playing a lick on the guitar or singing a chorus may be a way to connect with God, it can also be a distraction.  We can find more pleasure in what we are doing, how we are performing and who is watching us than in what is done in secret.  The reality of the inner man is big for me and I would argue big for God who came to create in us a new heart and not simply give us new habits. 

Don't come away from that above statement with a belief that being creative is all a distraction.  If you knew me you would know that I love thinking new thoughts and investigating everything from science to music to philosophy to.......  I also know what it is like to cease from all my striving and wait hours listening for the Lord.  Discerning between my imagination, my desires, my own soul and spirit and that of the Holy Spirit is a part of “growing up" and involves numerous lessons.  These lessons are learned through our attachment to things of this world.  You may love to sing high praises to God and find Him near every time you do so.  What you may not know is how much more of God is found in NOT doing so.  Our delights are our distraction into deeper communion with God.

I am not against activity and modern prayer forms.  I am very much for all the movements God has given us for our times.  I am also for all these movement leading to Him.  When our movements, groups or ministries have more significance to us than our authentic relationship to Christ, then we need to ask the Holy Spirit for a fresh look.  Let me say this boldly but without manipulation.  If our lives are full of idols that replace God, what are we doing?  If we care more about "our part" than the whole body of the Lord, what's up with that?  If we think what we are called to is the most important part of all, where is that coming from? 

So, right now the PPC is trying to find a way to help those who are interested in working out the integration of intimacy, community and discipleship.  While we do this we do not want any of what we do to become too significant.  We want the place of significance to remain Christ's alone.  That is not just "talk", is it the truth as far as my heart can tell.  I have no need to draw men unto myself or any movement.  I do however want to see millions of people ablaze with the love of God. 

Home Bible Study

Shirley and I have started a Bible Study in our home.  The short story of this is that I felt called to do so for many years but simply resisted it.  Finally, God captivated my heart through the life story and ministry of Francis and Edith Schaffer.  I have read Schaffer's books for years.  Then when I read the story of L'abri, discovered that it was a "prayer ministry", and saw God's touch into the real life issues and questions that surrounded the Schaffer's, I was ready.  For the next bit, be it three days or three decades, I want to try and build up the body of Christ concerning intimacy, community and discipleship. 

A while back I met a man who is poorly dressed and often dirty.  He is uneducated and has a slight stutter.  He seldom complains and often tries to encourage others.  He is very often found helping people with their cars.  I think he is equally as often taken advantage of.  I love this guy!  Those who have so little, but are so much, amaze me.  Secure in insecurity and strong in brokenness, this man serves, gives, helps and is mocked for it.  I see in this man another man I admire.

Isaiah 53:2-12  For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.  (3)  He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.  (4)  Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted.  (5)  But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.  (6)  All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him.  (7)  He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth.  (8)  By oppression and judgment He was taken away; And as for His generation, who considered That He was cut off out of the land of the living For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due?  (9)  His grave was assigned with wicked men, Yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.  (10)  But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering, He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days, And the good pleasure of the LORD will prosper in His hand.  (11)  As a result of the anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; By His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, As He will bear their iniquities.  (12)  Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, And He will divide the booty with the strong; Because He poured out Himself to death, And was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, And interceded for the transgressors.

I Can Do Nothing

Over the last few months I have battled pain and suffering.  I posted a short video blog on some of this a while back with the help of a great friend.  I am prayed for often and love to be loved when others care so much as to give themselves to you and to the Lord through prayer and fasting.  What I continue to find both true and alarming to my selfish spirit is that I can do nothing on my own.  Let me share this real life illustration.

I was at a place where pain was causing me to "count every step."  For me this occurs when I consider the cost I will need to pay in pain for walking across the room or into the store.  This day found me in Menards looking for bolts for my motorcycle.  Tim Tobin was there and asked me how I was doing.  He then gave me some advice and later put me in contact with Dr. Mike, a chiropractor at Benningfield’s.  Someone took care of the cost of my treatment and within a few weeks I was able to sleep without nerve pain and walk without counting every step.  I was at the place where doing almost anything was difficult.  I had not slept in weeks and could not even pray an hour without falling asleep.  But that sleep would only last about 20 minutes and then the pain would wake me up again.  The lesson I learned was that I need God and others!

Over and over again God has given to me and Shirley all that we need.  At times it has been directly through His hands, most of the time it comes through His people.  My doctors, financial support, notes of encouragement, people prompted to pray or share, have been vital to my existence.  We are so deep in this way of life that we can do nothing (except grumble and complain) without His help and His people.  Just the other day someone called moments after Shirley and I finished talking about our bills and need for groceries and said they felt like God wanted them to share an offering with us.  Our lives are a testimony that God cares and so does His body. 

So why do I keep chasing after independence?  Why do I have guilt over being needy?  Sure I want to do my part (and just a little more) in the body.  Sure I want to be a giver, a helper, a servant!  But I hope that I also have an ever increasing awareness that intimacy, community and discipleship knit us together.  We become entangled in the lives of one another.  We become a family, with a strong Father.  This family does not just have "ministries" or "gifts."  We have lives.

In the sharing of our lives with others intimacy with God, community and discipleship all mature.  Christianity is not just a belief or a set of teachings.  Christianity is a way of life for people living as God directs.  In the days ahead I hope to share more on what I have learned about abiding in Christ while not being able to think about Him as I drive a school bus.  You see I tried to hold God in my thoughts as I drove the bus and found myself driving right past a student or two.  So how do so many people who need to focus to do their job have intimacy with Him every moment of every day?  More on that later, but for now let me say that "your whole life matters!"  Jesus came, not to share His ministry or mission, but His life.  Thank you Father for placing me in a place where music teachers, engineers, doctors, housewives, students, construction workers, business people, retirees and numerous others do not just share their gifts, but their lives.